Wrestling with Faith (And What Discipleship Actually Looks Like)

I believe we all want to please God…

…but I also know we can get comfortable in seasons where we’re not really growing.

Life is full of hills and valleys… and sometimes deserts.

There are dry seasons where it may seem like God isn’t really active in our lives the way we expect Him to be. Not because He isn’t working—but because we don’t always recognize what He’s doing in those seasons.

I’ve had to wrestle with what to do in those times… not just to get through them, but to understand what the dry season is trying to teach me.

Because even in what feels like a desert… God is still moving.

Let’s break this down for a moment

I think a big issue is this:

We’ve learned how to maintain a version of Christianity that feels comfortable.

Not necessarily rebellious. Not necessarily walking away from God—because the truth is, I don’t believe we can just walk away from God like that.

But it’s comfortable in one sense… and at the same time, it’s not.

Because something in us knows when we’re not growing.

And the truth is, that doesn’t line up with what Scripture actually says.

Matthew 7:13–14 tells us that the path that leads to life is narrow—and few find it.

Not because God is hiding it… but because it’s the path very few people choose.

Why?

Because it costs something.

And if we’re honest, none of us naturally want to pay that price. We’re in our flesh—we want comfort. Of course we do.

But somewhere along the way, we started expecting this walk with God to feel easy.

And Scripture never told us that.

2 Timothy 2:3 tells us to endure hardness as a good soldier.

Hardness.

The tough parts of life where grit is developed… where endurance is required… where we are called to stand.

Scripture also tells us:

James 1:2–4“Count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

And:

James 1:12“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation…”

We say we want to be complete in God.

But growth comes through endurance—not comfort.

So why are we so surprised when it feels hard?

What does discipleship look like?

I listened to this episode this week three times, and it made me stop and think about the meaning of discipleship from a practical standpoint.

I’ve been discipled before.

I had someone pour into me, talk with me, guide me, check on me, teach me, take me out to meals. There was relationship. There was investment. There was involvement.

But what does it mean to be a disciple of Christ?

I think it looks different.

It’s not just about learning information. It’s not just about talking about God.

It’s about following Him.

The Bible says obedience is better than sacrifice.

And Jesus said in John 14:15:“If ye love me, keep my commandments.”

And in Luke 9:23 it says:

“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

The Word of God says daily.

That means we deny ourselves when it’s convenient… and when it’s not.

We deny ourselves when it feels good… and when it doesn’t.

We deny ourselves every day.

But realistically and truthfully… that doesn’t always describe my life.

Does it describe yours?

Are we building relationship… or just doing things?

It’s normal to feel like we’re not growing in certain seasons.

We’re not going to be growing constantly in ways we can see or measure.

But let’s ask a harder question.

Are we doing the things that build a relationship with God?

And we know what those things are.

Not ministry. Not content. Not activity.

Are we spending real time with Him?

Are we being still? Are we listening? Are we making space?

You guys all know there have been seasons I’ve admitted I wasn’t doing that.

And we can’t wonder why we don’t hear from God… if we’re not making space to listen.

John 15:5 says, “without me ye can do nothing.”

And Zechariah 4:6 reminds us—it’s not by might, and it’s not by power, but by His Spirit.

Walking with God is not about trying harder.

It’s about abiding.

Control feels safe… until it doesn’t

Something the Lord has been dealing with me about is control.

Not because I want to be in control… but because I feel like I need to be.

Most of that comes from past hurt and trauma.

When life felt unstable, I learned to hold on tight. That’s where grit was developed.

But my flesh still tries to tell me that control equals safety.

And it doesn’t.

Following Jesus requires surrender.

And when God asks us to release something, it feels like we’re losing our grip.

But maybe the issue isn’t that God isn’t moving.

Maybe the issue is that I don’t fully trust Him with the parts of my life that hurt the most… or the parts I can’t see.

The narrow path isn’t comfortable

The narrow path calls us to let go of things we’ve normalized.

It means walking differently than the people around us.

1 Peter 2:9 reminds us that we are a chosen generation… a peculiar people.

The narrow path calls for obedience—even when our flesh wants something else.

Would we recognize it if we saw it?

Or would we avoid it because it costs too much?

Because it does cost something. It costs our time, our comfort, our habits, and our need to hold on.

As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said:

“The cost of discipleship is great, but the cost of non-discipleship is far greater.”

Transformation isn’t my job—but obedience is

I received the revelation long ago that transformation—sanctification—is not my job.

Jesus does that.

Philippians 1:62 Corinthians 3:18

But obedience?

That’s on me.

Responding to what God is already showing me—that’s my responsibility.

As Dallas Willard said:

“Grace is not opposed to effort; it is opposed to earning.”

So what does obedience look like right now?

It looks like living one day at a time.

Asking God to give us this day our daily bread.

Walking in forgiveness. Walking in love. Walking with Him—daily.

Most of the time, obedience isn’t complicated.

It’s the thing God has already shown us.

The thing we keep pushing off. The thing we keep justifying. The thing we don’t want to deal with.

That right there is usually the very thing that moves us forward.

Final thoughts

If you feel like you’ve been going in circles in your walk with God…or like it’s been a while since you’ve taken steps forward…

you’re not alone.

I’m right there with you.

And God is too.

He will never leave you or forsake you.

This isn’t about God being distant.

This is about Him being ever-present—always inviting us back, always calling us to realign, always leading us forward on the narrow path… even when it’s uncomfortable.

Don’t rush past this.

Sit with it.

Sit with these questions.

And be honest with your answers.

🎧 Want to go deeper?

This blog was inspired by a powerful conversation on the Grit and Grace Podcast.

👉 Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/sU_86LRjaAY