When Managing Isn't Enough

At some point, you start noticing that certain things in your life just aren’t working anymore.

Not just habits—but patterns. Relationships. Ways of coping. Things you’ve leaned on for a long time, whether that’s substances, distractions, or even people.

For me, some of those things felt normal for so long that I didn’t question them. I just learned how to function around them. I learned how to manage how I felt, how to get through the day, how to keep going.

But managing isn’t the same as being free.

As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” That lines up with what Scripture has been saying all along: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32

A lot of what I’ve been dealing with has been under the surface for a long time. And recently, something came up that forced me to look at it more honestly. Something from my past surfaced in a way I couldn’t brush off or minimize. It made me realize this goes deeper than I wanted to admit. There were no dramatics, just clarity. Clear enough to know I can’t keep doing this the same way I’ve been doing it.

Up to this point, most of what I’ve done has been trying to manage symptoms—trying to cope, stabilize, get through things. And again, some of that matters. But it hasn’t been enough to actually bring real, lasting freedom. Like Brené Brown says, “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” That’s exactly what it started to feel like—just getting through instead of actually living. And Scripture speaks to that too: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7

So I started asking God what the next step is. And the answer wasn’t complicated, but it wasn’t easy either. Some of you may remember an episode I did on deliverance. That conversation stayed with me. Not just because of the topic, but because of the person I was talking to. There was something steady and grounded about him that I trusted.

So I reached out.

I didn’t try to clean anything up or make it sound better than it was. I just told the truth about what’s been going on and where I’m at.

And I scheduled a deliverance session.

I’m nervous. I don't doubt God. I don’t. It’s everything that comes with it, like the process, the honesty it requires, and the things you have to face and let go of. There’s real work involved on our end—repenting, renouncing, breaking agreements, dealing with things we’ve buried or gotten used to. That kind of work isn’t light.

James Baldwin said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” David knew this when he cried: “Search me, O God, and know my heart… see if there is any offensive way in me.” — Psalm 139:23–24. That’s where I am right now—letting God search it out.

I don’t want to keep living in cycles that I’ve already proven don’t lead anywhere new. I don’t want to keep putting energy into managing things that actually need to be healed, and I don’t want to encourage other people to pursue freedom if I’m not willing to take those same steps myself.

I don't have it all figured out. I'm not even sure I feel completely ready, but I know I can’t stay where I’ve been. I’m holding onto this: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” — Philippians 1:6

If you’re reading this and you recognize any part of that—whether it’s patterns, relationships, or just feeling stuck in something you can’t seem to get out of—you’re not the only one.

You’re also not beyond help.

Freedom isn’t something you fake your way into. It’s something you walk into, one step at a time.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment or share this with someone who might need it. And if you’ve been walking this journey with me—thank you. Your support, your messages, your prayers… they matter more than you know.