How to Help a Grieving Child: Faith-Based Guidance for Parents and Caregivers

Grit & Grace Podcast – Part 1 with Jerry Woodbridge

Grief rarely arrives politely.

It doesn’t knock gently. It doesn’t wait for you to prepare. It doesn’t consult your calendar or ask whether your children are ready.

It simply comes.

And when it does, everything changes.

In Part 1 of my conversation with author and grief educator Jerry Woodbridge, we talk about what it really looks like to survive the loss of a spouse — not in theory, but in the raw, everyday reality of widowhood, parenting, faith, and rebuilding a life you didn’t choose.

Grief isn’t just an adult’s journey. It’s one children face, too — often without the words to explain what’s happening inside them.

When I spoke with Jerry Woodbridge — author of the children’s book Joy Overcame Sorrow — our conversation began with her own grief story. She lost her husband and found healing in an unexpected place: ballroom dancing. But as we talked, the focus shifted to something that doesn’t always get enough attention.

The children.

Jerry didn’t just write books for widows. She wrote a children’s book about grief because she understands something deeply important: kids experience loss differently, and they need guidance that meets them where they are.

So today, I want to walk through some of the wisdom from her “Helping a Grieving Child” guide — and add a little heart and Scripture along the way — so you feel equipped to offer comfort when a child is grieving.

Because the truth is, many of us don’t realize what children need until we’re already in the middle of loss.

And sometimes… we look back and wish we had known sooner.

Acknowledge the Pain

The first step in helping a grieving child is simple — but it isn’t easy.

Acknowledge the pain.

Children need to know their feelings are allowed.

Sadness. Anger. Confusion. Even silence.

In my own life, this part hit me hard.

As Jerry and I spoke, I realized that in my own grief after losing my daughter, I was so caught up in my pain that I didn’t really give my other children space to grieve their sister. I didn’t recognize it at the time. I was surviving. But looking back, I can see that their grief deserved room, too.

Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed, we unintentionally rush children through grief. We say things like, “She’s in a better place,” or “God has a plan,” hoping it will comfort them.

But before theology, there needs to be tenderness.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Notice it doesn’t say He rushes them. It says He is near.

That’s our model.

We don’t have to fix their feelings. We sit with them in it.

We validate. We listen. We say, “It makes sense that you feel that way.”

That alone builds safety.

Be Present, Not Perfect

One of the most freeing truths from Jerry’s guide is this: you do not have to have all the answers.

You don’t need a perfectly worded explanation about heaven. You don’t need a counseling degree. You don’t need to quote the entire Book of Job.

You need availability.

When a child is grieving, what helps most is steady presence.

Sit beside them. Let them talk — or not talk. Answer simply when they ask questions. Say “I don’t know” when you truly don’t know.

It’s okay.

Children are not looking for polished speeches. They are looking for safety.

And sometimes, safety is just someone who stays.

Create Safe Spaces

When grief enters a child’s world, everything can start to feel unpredictable.

The routines shift. Adults are emotional. The atmosphere changes.

Creating safe spaces becomes incredibly important.

That might look like:

• Keeping bedtime routines consistent

• Leaving a favorite blanket or stuffed animal nearby

• Making a quiet corner where they can sit when feelings get big

• Continuing small daily rituals like prayer or reading together

Consistency restores a sense of security.

Even something as simple as saying a bedtime prayer every night can become an anchor.

After loss, the world feels shaky. Predictability helps steady it.

It’s not about building a perfect Pinterest corner.

It’s about building familiarity.

And familiarity says, “You’re still safe here.”

Encourage Expression

Children often express what they cannot yet say.

Grief doesn’t always come out in sentences.

Sometimes it shows up in drawings. In behavior. In tears at unexpected times. In acting out. In quiet withdrawal.

Instead of shutting that down, we gently make room for it.

Offer crayons. Offer paper. Offer journaling for older kids. Invite them to tell stories about the person they lost.

You might read books about grief together — like Joy Overcame Sorrow — so they can see their feelings reflected in someone else’s story.

When children see grief named, it normalizes their experience.

Expression doesn’t have to look tidy.

It just has to be allowed.

Even Jesus wept (John 11:35).

If tears were permitted for the Son of God, they are permitted for our children.

Offer Predictability and Patience

Grief in children is not linear.

One day they may seem fine. The next day, something small may trigger a wave of sadness.

That doesn’t mean they’re “regressing.” It means they’re processing.

Patience becomes crucial.

Emotional outbursts can happen because children don’t always have the emotional vocabulary adults do. Instead of labeling them as “bad behavior,” we pause and ask, “What might they be feeling underneath this?”

David encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6), but even David cried, lamented, and wrestled openly with grief.

Grief takes time.

And children are allowed that time.

Know When to Seek Additional Support

Sometimes, extra help is needed.

If a child is experiencing prolonged anxiety, sleep disruption, extreme withdrawal, or behavior changes that feel intense or ongoing, it may be wise to seek counseling or grief support.

There is no shame in that.

In fact, it’s wisdom.

Proverbs 11:14 says, “In the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

Support groups, faith-based counseling, and child therapists trained in grief can provide tools that parents may not naturally have.

It does not mean you have failed.

It means you care enough to seek help.

A Gentle Reminder for Parents

If you are reading this and realizing you didn’t always get it right — I understand.

Grief is overwhelming.

Sometimes we do the best we know how to do in the moment.

And sometimes we learn later.

Grace covers that.

The goal is not perfection. The goal is presence.

If a child in your life is grieving right now, know this:

You do not need perfect words. You need steady love.

You need patience. You need honesty. You need compassion.

And above all, you need the reminder that God is near — to you and to them.

Download the Full Guide

Jerry Woodbridge has created a thoughtful and practical resource titled “Helping a Grieving Child.”

If you would like a structured, printable guide with these steps clearly outlined, you can download it here:

[https://tinyurl.com/v9mv7s9h]

And if you haven’t yet listened to my conversation with Jerry about grief, healing, and her book Joy Overcame Sorrow, I encourage you to do that as well.

Grief may shape us, but it does not have the final word.

There is comfort. There is healing And yes — there is still joy.